I JUST GOT ENGAGED!!!! It's insane to say, and crazy to think that in approximately four months, I will be married to THE BEST PERSON EVER!! But before the craziness of wedding planning sets in (okay, it really already has), I think it would be kind of cool to talk about something that I feel gets talked about with a lot of men vocational ministry, but not so much women. A lot of blogs and books are written about the qualities men / pastors should look for in a future spouse, regarding having a partner in ministry, but I thought it would be fun to address the flip side of that. What if you're a woman working in ministry seeking a spouse to support you and your call? What should you look for when you're called to vocational ministry and he isn't? What qualities should you look for? What should be important to you?
Now, I could lie and say that I have all the answers, or that I have the perfect personality combo to make sure your ministry thrives, but I don't and I won't. All I simply have is my experience from others around me, and my own ~future husband~. DISCLAIMER: I specify vocational ministry, because I believe we are all called to minister to our sphere of influence! ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: These are just my personal opinions. These are just simple things I urge you to think about / consider. These are 3 qualities I appreciate, that you may too.
1. Jesus Focused // This one is the most important, that really should be a nonnegotiable. If the guy you're dating or engaged to doesn't love Jesus, it might be wise to seek council about your current relationship status. If you're in ministry and the man you're married to doesn't love Jesus, start praying (or, I should probably say, continue praying)! Everything stems from a relationship with Jesus, so be sure to have a spouse that love Him [Jesus].
2. Leadership // Spiritually, relationally, in your household. Your husband is supposed to be the leader. I'm sure that working in a church, being surrounded by Jesus all the time can make it difficult, especially as a woman. Not only do you have to find someone who is chasing after Jesus as hard as you, but it's good to have someone who knows at the end of the day, that you have to submit to their godly leadership. You're a unit and a team, but at the end of the day, the Lord has given him the responsibility to be the head of the house to lead your family.
3. Servant's heart // It's nice when your spouse works in your area of serving, but it's all about the heart. If he absolutely hates serving with babies (okay, idk who HATES babies, but maybe he's afraid he'll drop them), he can and should serve somewhere else! It's all about the heart behind it. Look at his demeanor and attitude when he is serving. Is he doing it with a joyful heart? Is he jumping in to help wherever he can? Again, your future spouse may not like those things at all, but I definitely think this is something important to consider.