Being engaged has been a whirlwind! It's been amazing and fun and special and unforgettable! Everyone has been kind and excited for not only me and my sparkly new ring, but for us as we move into our future! But, being engaged has really got me thinking, and not just about our wedding. (which is Nov 9, 2018 btw!)
I saw this quote and it got me thinking about life. Often times, we want the reward of doing the hard thing. We want to be able to say, "LOOK AT ME!", "GO CHECK THIS OUT!", and "SEE WHAT I DID!?!" We want to flaunt what we got and we want the world to not only  appreciate what we have, but we want them to love what we have. 
However, a lot of people (preaching to myself here) don't want to do the work, but want all the benefits. We want the fastest diet without cutting out delicious fried food. We want our kids to listen without taking the time to be patient and explain things to them. We want our grades to be passable without giving up partying on the weekends. We want the great things in life without the hard things first. 

Things have changed dramatically since July of last year, and for the better! I have definitely found the person I'm going to marry. I am more confident around others (not in the fake way, but in a very real way). I have settled into the flow of the way of ministry here. And I have let the Lord speak to me in ways I had no idea possible. Everything has changed! And I am so grateful! Going through dark times seems unending. And being in the middle of hard seasons makes you want to give up. BUT, my friend, I implore you to not give up!
I want to encourage you with 2 things, and the first is this...it's okay to feel the way you do. When life seems like a little too much to handle, it is okay to be sad and feel defeated. It's okay to want to throw in the towel on a dream. It's okay to ask God WHY. And it's okay to vent to your friends and family. Those feelings are very validated and those initial thoughts are probably justified!