RACHEL FOX FRAZIER
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Food for Thought

Why I Cringe at "Dear Future Husband" Letters

10/6/2016

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Something has been on my heart for a while now, but I’ve neglected putting my thoughts into actual cohesive sentences, for fear that it might ruffle a few feathers, or come off the wrong way. So, let me preface what I’m about to say with a couple disclaimers. 


Disclaimer #1: I don’t think you’re a terrible person if you write letters to your future husband.
Disclaimer #2: I don’t think it’s wrong to pray for, or about your future husband.
Disclaimer #3: I don’t think it’s obnoxious when people talk about getting married one day. (Believe it or not, I actually love love!!)
Disclaimer #4: I’m not a soul-less, dream-crusher, who thrives on stomping on the hearts of women everywhere.

That being said...

It has come to my attention that ladies, particularly ladies in their 20‘s, have developed a certain fascination with getting married. Is this a new goal that the female population has dreamed up within the past 10 years? Absolutely not- getting married is something women have thought about for thousands of years. Being wed is not only historical, but it’s biblical. 

But what my head can’t seem to grasp, and where my heart begins to hurt, is when christian young ladies flip the switch. They were taught to pray for their future husband’s heart, but now they obsess over finding out who their future husband will be. They have every detail of their wedding planned out, but they’re missing a groom. They started off embracing their singleness, but now they vent about it on social media. 

Ladies, I am not upset, my heart is concerned. There is absolutely nothing wrong with dreams, wants, and desires. But we have to be extremely conscientious and careful to make sure our wants don’t turn into our obsessions. Because when our want becomes an obsession, that obsession becomes a stumbling block.

Instead of asking yourself, “Is he the one?” after meeting every guy, captivate yourself in who Christ is & remind yourself, “He is THE ONE”. Trust God’s perfect timing. Stop obsessing over other people and what they have; focus on what God has specifically given you at this point in your life- focus on what you have, not on what you think you need. Love yourself and where God has you. Grow where you are planted. And for goodness sake, stop posting on Facebook about how much you long for a good, godly man, stop tweeting about how lonely you are, and for the love of all things holy, stop hash-tagging “wife me up” (I mean, do what you gotta do, but I'm just tryin' to help *insert shrug emoji here*)

I don’t claim to know a lot, but what I do know is this: 
God has an original plan designed entirely for you. 
He absolutely delights in you more than anyone EVER will. 

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  • HOME
  • Rachel
    • About
    • Connect
    • Speaking
  • Ministry
  • LIfestyle
  • Thoughts
  • Other Things
    • Lifeway // Reaching Girls Beyond the Church
    • Lifeway // Moments That Matter
    • Lifeway // Holiday Travel
    • Lifeway // 5 Ways to Partner with Parents
    • Whole Hearted Quiet Time // Devo. Review
    • The Juice Edit // Sabbath
    • Delight // Summer Series