Something has been on my heart for a while now, but I’ve neglected putting my thoughts into actual cohesive sentences, for fear that it might ruffle a few feathers, or come off the wrong way. So, let me preface what I’m about to say with a couple disclaimers.
Disclaimer #1: I don’t think you’re a terrible person if you write letters to your future husband.
Disclaimer #2: I don’t think it’s wrong to pray for, or about your future husband.
Disclaimer #3: I don’t think it’s obnoxious when people talk about getting married one day. (Believe it or not, I actually love love!!)
Disclaimer #4: I’m not a soul-less, dream-crusher, who thrives on stomping on the hearts of women everywhere.
That being said...
It has come to my attention that ladies, particularly ladies in their 20‘s, have developed a certain fascination with getting married. Is this a new goal that the female population has dreamed up within the past 10 years? Absolutely not- getting married is something women have thought about for thousands of years. Being wed is not only historical, but it’s biblical.
But what my head can’t seem to grasp, and where my heart begins to hurt, is when christian young ladies flip the switch. They were taught to pray for their future husband’s heart, but now they obsess over finding out who their future husband will be. They have every detail of their wedding planned out, but they’re missing a groom. They started off embracing their singleness, but now they vent about it on social media.
Ladies, I am not upset, my heart is concerned. There is absolutely nothing wrong with dreams, wants, and desires. But we have to be extremely conscientious and careful to make sure our wants don’t turn into our obsessions. Because when our want becomes an obsession, that obsession becomes a stumbling block.
Instead of asking yourself, “Is he the one?” after meeting every guy, captivate yourself in who Christ is & remind yourself, “He is THE ONE”. Trust God’s perfect timing. Stop obsessing over other people and what they have; focus on what God has specifically given you at this point in your life- focus on what you have, not on what you think you need. Love yourself and where God has you. Grow where you are planted. And for goodness sake, stop posting on Facebook about how much you long for a good, godly man, stop tweeting about how lonely you are, and for the love of all things holy, stop hash-tagging “wife me up” (I mean, do what you gotta do, but I'm just tryin' to help *insert shrug emoji here*)
I don’t claim to know a lot, but what I do know is this:
God has an original plan designed entirely for you.
He absolutely delights in you more than anyone EVER will.
One of our pastors, Andrew Evans, recently shared the statement, "We become what we behold." Although this sentence only contains 5 words, it caused me to reflect on my own life. This reflection led me to Galatians 1:10, "Am I now seeking the approval of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." A fantastic reminder to daily ask myself the tough questions: Who am I truly serving? Who am I placing on the throne of my life? Who or What am I beholding? My goal & desire is to seek, behold, & serve Christ far above any & everyone else.
As you move into a new stage of life & begin transitioning from awkward teenager to young adult, I want you to remember a couple things (in no particular order).
Francis Chan's book "Crazy Love", has been sweeping this generation with the unmistakable notion that as Christians, God's incredible & undeniable love for us should change the way we see & treat others, & permeate through every part of our lives. I believe that Luke 6:31 helps us put into perspective how we should treat others. & as a woman, constantly striving to be an example of the gospel, I've comprised a list of 8, small, practical actions that can help you love others.
In Philippians 2:1-4 Paul encourages us to be “united in Christ”. As Christians, our unity is one of our biggest testimonies. Sometimes (really most of the time), I find it difficult to get along with people who are different than me. I consistently have to remind myself that everyone in the body of Christ has been uniquely made with different strengths and weaknesses.
But that begs the question, “How are we supposed to be united when we are all individually SO different?” In verse 3, Paul specifies that humility is a key to being united in Christ. We receive clear direction in verse 3, “Do nothing from selfish ambition”. I know that that statement is easier said than done, but Paul doesn’t leave us hanging. He continues by telling us HOW to accomplish this mindset when he says, “Count others more significant than yourselves.”
So, when you disagree with your friends at school, or argue with your family members at home, remember to focus your mindset on Christ’s mindset and to focus your heart on Christ’s heart. The more we focus on Christ, the more humbly we’ll place others above ourselves. The more we humbly place others above ourselves, the more unified the body of Christ becomes.